A little while back I thought I would start a little testimony section on my blog called Meditation Monday. The monday's would come round and go again... Last week I was asked to share something at our house group. I knew this was the chance to share it also on my blog so this is the first MM of 2009.
I am deeply encouraged myself to read testimonies from people who I can relate too, it helps so much. I hope those ladies who visit my blog and know the Lord Jesus will be blessed and can relate to what I go through in their own daily walk in faith. I so hope you will share your own testimony too! I would appreciate feedback if it is too long or whatever, thanks! It won't be every monday, but now and again.
8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways, saith the Lord.
9 As the heavens are high above the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
One of the most difficult areas in my life and one which has caused the most confusion and hurt has been that of my expectations of God.
Having a Heavenly Father who created the whole universe, is omnipresent, who knows everything, sees everything, I believed that a life with God should be dynamic, full of beautiful adventures and constant joy and peace!
It has not always been the case. We all have to admit that many things we hoped and prayed for have not been fulfilled. I had this kind of reasoning, o.k. God, You invite me through your Word to pray and believe and when I do, it seems to take ages for a reply – why Lord?
I have to add that when I gave my life to Jesus who was sacrificed on the Cross for us – I had my prayers answered every day – I was amazed at how God helped me understand the Bible, how He cared for my needs and gave me joy and peace beyond understanding.
Years later I had to learn that God was treating me as a child that had to grow up, that the dry periods in our lives that seem to tire us, wherein we have to persevere in the faith are so necessary for our growth to stand when the going gets tough!
To give you some examples, we lived in a little village in France about six years ago (we have since moved) and I really tried to talk about Jesus to the people around me and tried to make friends with the neighbours. It took six years before I managed to win the trust of one neighbour lady, who also came to put her trust in the Lord. I had expected so much more when we moved to France as missionaries, it hurt!
We have been praying for twenty years for our eldest son, who in fact has left home and is living with his girlfriend in another town, filled with humanistic thinking from his school days and closed to our way of living. Of course we still believe that God will touch his heart, but my expectations were that he would be in the Ministry before he was twenty!
In fact I have always wanted things around me change for the good, in the church, in the village and so on but I have learned that God wants to change things on the inside of us first, and mainly our character! If everything around me changes and I don’t – I won’t have gained anything!
Looking back, I have seen how God has met my expectations in ways so much higher than I ever could have fathomed with human reasoning and although I have adapted my expectations I still believe that when God says He can do beyond that which we can imagine or pray, He means what he says!
If God had done everything I asked of him and prayed for, I would never have learned to persevere, to have patience, to love, to care, to Love God for who He is not for what He does and have deep roots in Who He is!
Today I feel that God has created a desire in me to expect Him to do a deep work in this region. I am batteling to stay in this expectation of God, for our work to serve and build up the church, in praying for the villages around us as the spiritual darkness is overwhelming here.
God has taken away the frustration and pain I had as I have learned to trust Him as the above verse says – His Ways are so much higher than ours and His thoughts are so different!
In conclusion, prayer is an investment in the Kingdom of God everyday which pays off in God’s time and it is good to walk in obedience to His Word. God will honour our expectations if we honour Him!