I’m giving the floor to Marabel Morgen who has given me kind permission to quote here from her book ‘The Total Woman’.
Most of us marry a man with every intention of changing him. Then we spend years of married life trying to do just that – round off the edges, suggest what he should do, and how he should act. Why are we such fools? It never works! The poor husband crawls into his shell to protect himself from the onslaught, vowing never to communicate with this relentless woman who was once his bride.
A man needs to be accepted as he is, just exactly as he is. This kind of all-out acceptance convinces him you really love him. His need for total acceptance isn’t so strange. I need to feel accepted too. Do you have a special friend who will listen to your innermost heart and accept you, without fear of rejection, criticism or advice? Can you do less for your husband?
Unfortunately, I’m a nag by nature. I don’t mean to be! Nagging is my occupational hazard. All day long I direct my kids: “Pick up your clothes, brush your teeth and don’t get out of bed. When my husband walks in the door, I just naturally continue my commands: “Take out the garbage, be kind to my mother, smile at people, etc. One thing is sure, nagging doesn’t bring results! Nagging never kept anyone alive. It has, however, killed many marriages. A man considers being nagged at worse than being nibbled to death by a duck.
Some women don’t nag verbally, but their non-accepting vibrations communicate loud and clear. Tolerance is not acceptance and only makes your husband feel incomplete and unworthy. He can sense when he’s not being accepted or manipulated and is not able to love you fully.
Our strength for accepting our husbands lies in the fact that God accepts us as we are and even though we don’t deserve it, His love is unconditional. Because He accepts us, through His power we can love and accept our husbands. If you have lost this love for your husband, ask God to restore it!
Your husband needs your acceptance most of all during his times of apparent failure. If he’s already low, don’t put him down further; Never compare him with another man and remember he’ll never confide in you if he feels that you are being critical.
Your man needs to feel important, loved and accepted. Make his home his haven, a place to which he can run. Allow him that priceless luxury of unqualified acceptance.
I have not quoted the whole story here, just taken out certain details. I can really recommend her book. You can order it so easily via ‘Amazon Books’ (they also carry cheaper second hand versions) and have it in your home within a week!
Next week I hope to share something on the second ‘A’ – ADMIRE.
I probably won't be posting again until late in the week as I will be heading up North with DH to care for a stand with our books at a big conference in Grenoble for French pastors and their wifes. Our book is out in the French language - we hope to be able to share it with many couples! Please pray for our time there! We always have our laptop with us.
And lastly I am sharing some photo's I took yesterday of the surroundings here on our way home from church. The almond tree is blossoming everywhere!!
God bless you!