Monday, March 2, 2009

Meditation Monday - The woman's role

In relation to last week's meditation a question arose which is very valid and needs to be addressed. We talked about the man being the Head of the home, which God ordained him to be, but the fact is, many men do not take up their role and are passive.
Well, look what happened in the garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were taking a stroll and the snake appeared on the scene. The devil knew the order of authority that God had ordained so he very cleverly addressed the woman when he wanted to seduce them into eating from the tree of knowledge.
The Bible clearly states that after she ate she gave to her husband.. 'who was with her' - he wasn't somewhere else, he was there when the snake started talking to his wife but he 'didn't do anything', he didn't stop the process, he ate too....
(See: Gen.3:6)

It is a fact that we cannot change each other, only God can change a human being. BUT we can be very creative in our interaction with our men!

God created the woman to do what? Iron her husbands shirts? Cook his meals? Yes, but that isn't all! God said, it is not good that the man should be alone, I shall make him a helper - and he created Eve. (See: Gen.2:18)

The fact that we might do our household chores and be brave Christians does not mean we are giving our husbands the intimacy they were looking for when they married us and to which they have a full right.
The two most important things for a man are sexual and emotional love. There are four 'A's which will prove to be key to opening up your husband. They are ADMIRE, APPRECIATE, ADAPT and ACCEPT. I will be going into these four emotional needs in later meditations. A book from Marabel Morgan called 'The total woman' will be my source for explaining these key tools.

And these are the things that bless my husband most and cost the most, requiring a sacrifice!
I have come to see that it is mostly the woman who has to guard herself against closing up towards her husband. She has to stay open and interested in his life, in what makes him happy. It will be different for every woman to discover the ways she can draw intimacy into her marriage. I had to learn that René was not looking for somebody to advise him all the time or a wife who played the Holy Spirit for him. No! He was looking for a woman who knew how to be a woman!

Now, you might be thinking - but what about 'me' then - who will cater to my needs? I can tell you, if you are willing to cater to your husbands needs in the above, not only will you bring your man alive, but you will emerge from under a spiritual blindness that has held you back from intimacy because you thought your husband was at fault!!
Not only do I have a man with a twinkle in his eye, I have been blessed by God in ways I cannot even explain. To give you an example - I always used to have headaches - since I have really conquered this problem of always thinking my husband had to change, and have changed myself, I do not have these problems!

If love, intimacy and passion is revived in a marriage, the husband will more likely take in his rightful place because he doesn't have to fight a wife who finds fault with him all the time!

Of course, there will always be exceptions to the rules, but I believe that if we as women can lay this foundation in our marriages we will have happier men and happier men means a happier world!


  1. I have written these four words down -- Admire, Appreciate, Adapt and Accept. I am going to put them right over my desk where I can think about them frequently.
    What a great message for today, Jacqueline!

  2. Jacqueline
    thank you for sharing this today - I needed to read this. I look forward to hearing more on this topic!

  3. I remember reading "The Total Woman" in the 1970s as a young wife. It seems I can look back now and see that the advice was so excellent even though it was ridiculed at that time by the feminists. Thirty one years later I'm a wife with some wisdom and grateful for your reminder.
    Bless You!

  4. I'm with Louise on writing out those words. Yesterday a friend took me out for lunch and I shared with her your meditation Mondays. It sparked an amazing conversation - you're doing great things sharing!!


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