Thursday, August 25, 2011

PDCC 96 and a little testimony

Hi, I hope you are well! Since Monday I have been too weak to craft and even now I am not totally well. It seemed that the Chemo treatment took a different pattern of how and when it worked this time which caught me by surprise.

I am joining in the PDCC color challenge as I had a page of rub-ons from Making Memories which were the ideal match, which Marcy had sent me. First I stamped the Heart from Stampington and went from there.

Here is the inspiration picture:

I have a little testimony to share with you.
I am reading a book called 'Leaving' from Karen Kingsbury, who writes Christian books. The more I read, the more I really like her style.

This morning God spoke to me from its pages with one single phrase : "She had a faith that defied logic". This was said of a woman named Tara who had lost her son in Iraq and was sitting next to the hospital bed of her daughter-in-law to be, who had just had a car accident... it was instant revelation.

It is true that the last couple of months it has been harder and harder to cope with the Chemo treatments. At first it touches your body, but within no time it gets to your emotions and starts to affect something deep within you. I have been pouring out my heart to a friend this week that what was happening to me just wasn't logical - how the events over the last five months had been so contrary to what I had believed and so confusing. If only the cancer had been less than 2cm and not spread, then I would not have had  to have Chemo therapy, if only I had found out earlier, if only God had given me the testimony of not having to loose my hair... if only, if only.... So many questions.

I suddenly realized once again that logic and faith don't go together, in fact they exclude each other. You can't have a logical life and at the same time have faith. God just isn't logical - He is above time, He is Eternal, He is Love - He gave Himself entirely in Jesus Christ to save us and all He asks is faith, faith in that Cross - because Hebrews 11:1 says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

It humbled me and I realized I still do have faith,  I am still holding on to that faith and I know that in His Time and Wisdom, that which is not fathomable will be perfectly 'logical' - when I see it through His Eyes.
Isn't it wonderful how God can use anything He chooses to speak to us?!


  1. I'm sorry this chemo session has been so very difficult for you, Jacqueline. Just when you think you know what's coming your way, everything changes. I'm glad that you have a dear friend there to talk to. It's okay to have doubts, because when we work through them, faith is even stronger on the other side. (I went through something similar when my father was dying.... almost gave up my faith altogether... but I didn't. Things happened, I saw a plan, it wouldn't have been the plan that *I* would have picked, but as we know, that's not the point.) It will get better eventually. Praying for you....

    And on a lighter side, your card is spectacular! I have some of those rub-ons in my stash, too, and never would have thought to use them like this. Absolutely gorgeous - I'm picking you to win! :)

  2. So sorry to hear that the last chemo session was so hard on you Jacqueline... Wish things were a lot easier for you. I'm glad to see though that your creativity is up to full speed! My goodness, what a beauty this is. I was ooh-ing and aah-ing over this one ;-) Hugs, Ira

  3. Jacqueline - I had NO idea. This post is so inspiring to me, with what I am going through. Thanks so much for sharing and leading me to this post. Ah - God's plan. He brought me to you for a reason!

    Your card is breathtaking! I LOVE how you used the rub-ons! Those are my favorites and they had your name written all over them. Hugs, sweetie! xoxo

  4. Hi Jacqueline , having faith and trust in god will always make you strong, there is NO doubt......!
    Your card is beautiful, by the way,
    love and hugs
    chris richards

  5. Jacqueline, your card is stunning in it softness, beauty and grace. You are stunning in your beauty, grace and "softness" in trying to find a higher level of understanding in the most debilitating and trying of circumstances.

  6. Dear Jacqueline, in troubling times we always question, "what if"! It's human nature to question, God gave us that ability. You have such a strong grasp of your faith, and that will get you through. You are almost at the light at the end of your treatment. May you receive the strenght, physical and mental, to jump that final hurdle.

  7. hi Jacqeline
    i know how bad cancer can be, i lost my step mother too it, we had huge joint family and it was so hard loosin a member, i still cant forget her pain though i was only 8 or 9 at the time.
    but i completely trust in God, cus he works in mysterious ways, so dont just loose hope, things will get better and easy just have faith :).
    secondly, your card is very pretty, i love the colores and everything abt it :)

  8. I am sorry that you are not feeling too well ... your card is top notch though ... a beautiful creation .... Your post is lovely ... I talked to a Christian friend of mine and asked her a question that puzzled me ... her sister (also a Christian) was fanatical about exercise and scared to death about going to hospital for anything and even more scared about dying ... to me it didn't seem 'logical' that she talked so much about Heaven etc., and yet felt this way ... my friend said I was right ... and that it was all about faith ... If you have faith ... there is nothing to fear ... you are where you should be and in God's hands ...
    Sending love and prayers for you to soon be feeling better ... keep faith my friend no matter how hard we are all routing for you ...

  9. A very beautiful card Jacqueline. I am so pleased you are venting your feelings and emotions it is an important process to good mental health. You have received some wonderful empathy here and understanding Jacqueline. I have nowhere near the faith you have my friend but when I was recovering from my fall I was taught a method of relaxing that may help you at this time.
    It starts by taking some time to just sit and breathe, and do a cycle of ten breaths or more.
    Now take notice of your physical and mental state, then begin to cultivate compassion for yourself and the suffering that you may be feeling and imagine yourself free of suffering and the causes of suffering. You may even want to repeat to yourself, “May I be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.” Do this for a few minutes at least. Now take a few minutes to extend compassion to someone you know who is suffering, someone that you would like to see free of that suffering. Finally spend time imagining that all the days of our lives of all beings are filled with good fortune, now feel some sympathetic joy for yourself by considering the good fortune by your positive accomplishments you have made.
    It helped me considerably, I hope with your faith in tandem it will have a doubling effect.
    Keep strong my friend you are nearly there.

  10. Oh dear!! Sending you really big hugs and I wish I could be closer to comfort you! I'm sad to see you in pain. I hope you can regain some strength in the coming days!

  11. Oh Jacqueline I am so sorry to hear you have been having a difficult time. It just breaks my heart. I will keep you in my prayers..
    Your card is just beautiful.

    Hugs, Linda

  12. So sad to read that you're having such a difficult time. I hope you will feel better soon. I'm thinking of you! Big hugs, Petra

  13. hi Jacqueline,

    sending you the best of thoughts, hope and strength.
    thinking of you!!
    love to see your cards, but it is more important that you rest and take care of yourself!!!

  14. Jacqueline, I am so sorry to hear that the last chemo treatment was so
    difficult and that you are feeling poorly! All your questions only make
    your faith stronger. Keeping you in
    my thoughts and prayers.

  15. Jaqvueline, sorry to hear that you're not feeling well right now. The chemo does take a lot from you, while doing it's "good" work within your body. For me the tiredness that increased with every treatment was the worst. But you are soon through it and when the treatments stop, you will feel better quite quickly (at least I did)
    And your card is gorgeus, as always.
    I hope you have a good weekend, despite all.
    Thinking of you

  16. So sorry that you have reached a difficult point in your treatment. Sending you hugs and prayers. This is lovely and so beautiful with the colors and layers. Hugs to you. Feel better soon.

  17. Absolutely stunning Jacqueline, fantastic work ...

  18. You are so right about faith and logic. So sorry to hear that you have hit a difficult patch in your treatments, but I am thankful that God has put a dear friend in your life who will listen and help you through this. Your card is beautiful! I love the collage look and the PDCC colors work wonderfully for it :) Thanks for playing this week at the Play Date Cafe!

  19. Jacqueline, I am so sorry things are going roughly for you now. It saddened me to read this, but I am glad that you were able to change the way you see what God is doing.

    Your card is utterly breathtaking, so soft and lovely. Thanks for playing again with us at The Play Date CAfe.

  20. Hi Jacqueline,
    Bless you for sharing that testimony! I just finished that book too and need to see that "Faith" is the essence of that not seen. Dealing with stuff where I don't see answers but I know God is working. You are a huge blessing as you share your faith AND your beautiful cards. Psalm 73:26

  21. Your card is breathtakingly gorgeous. I am so proud of you that you are creating beauties even when you arent feeling your best. Your post is written so beautifully, I am sure a lot of people are going to be inspired by it. My prayers and love are with you.

  22. What a touching post Jacqueline. You will me in my thoughts and prayers. Your card is just beautiful, I wish you all the best.

  23. Your card is so beautiful!
    Hugs from Hanne

  24. Thank you for taking the time to share some profound thoughts and revelations even when you are feeling the way you are! What you shared today has helped me with some inner battles with exactly that, logic vs. faith! You continue to be a true inspiration to me! As always, your card is as beautiful as you are!

  25. I am so sorry to hear you are low. I stop in to see what beauty you've created and what words of faith you have to share. You are an amazing woman and an inspiration to all of us. You may not realize it, but i truely believe that you bring all of us closer to God and I thank you for opening my eyes and heart with every post.

  26. I love that you are able to share your faith and journey right here in blog land. What a testimony that is! I know God will push you through this tough time and you will come out on the other side having won the race. You sound like an amazing lady. (Romans 5:1-5) Thank you for sharing this and for sharing your beautiful card with us at The Play Date Cafe.


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